Heaven: The Big White Lie!

Unfortunately, for most of us, we’ve had to attend at least one funeral in our lives. As for myself, I’ve been to several in the last few years. All them Christian burials.  It was at the last funeral, however, that ‘it’ dawned on me, during the service, when the Minister said, “We can take comfort from her faith in Jesus Christ as her savior that she is now reunited in heaven with her husband, Bob, who had passed away 20 years prior.” This, of course, was not the first time I had heard these words of comfort from those of the cloth, and no doubt you’d hear identical at any of the thousands of Christian funerals taking place everyday.

Notwithstanding the well meaning intentions of the respective clergy, that preside over funerals, my question is why do they lie to us? Is it their intention to deceive, or have they failed to read or understand the Bible?

After all, the Bible is very clear on the terms and conditions in respect to the afterlife:

1. There is no afterlife in the Old Testament. While there is Heaven, the celestial realm is reserved for God, his angels, and his prophets. “The heavens are the LORD’S, but the earth He has given to men -Psalm 115:16

2. Like many Jewish priests, rabbis, or teachers of the first century – Jesus was an apocalyptic Jew. He saw the world in terms of good and evil, an Old Testament worldview of sorts, whereby God presses the ‘NUKE’ button whenever the sin barometer climbs too high vis-a-vis the Flood, and Sodom & Gomorrah. Jesus saw evidence of sin and the Jewish people turning away from God, “adulterous generation”, and therefore he firmly believed that the end times were coming, and soon. (“Before the current generation would taste death.” (Matt 24:34)

3. From Jesus’ unique perspective, in terms of biblical narrative, Judgment Day will occur after the end of times i.e. when Jesus returns to earth. In other words, Jesus must return to determine who, among the Jews, exclusively, shall enter the kingdom of heaven.

“At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory.” (Matthew 24:30)

He reassures his followers, however, that he has reserved some rooms at the Marriott Heaven for the days AFTER his return to earth:

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:1-3)

4. Notwithstanding the fact that Jesus is more than 1900 years late on his promise to return, this means, according to Jesus, all that are dead are still taking the eternal dirt nap. No one has entered, and no person will enter heaven until Jesus descends from heaven riding a white fluffy cloud. Ask yourself honestly, do you really believe such an event will ever happen? Of course, the primary fuel for my cynicism is Jesus’ false promise. He has already proved himself, in regards to his second coming, to be a false prophet.

My question being, why can’t our church leaders find words of solace and comfort for the bereaved without the theological dishonesty?

CJ Werleman

Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’ (Making Sense of the Bible)


17 responses to “Heaven: The Big White Lie!

  1. Nice.

    But give Jesus a break; in his divine way, 1950 years is perhaps something like “Whoops, I’m a couple of minutes late…”.

  2. I attended a Southern Baptist funeral lately and, of course, much of what was said in the service parallels the above. The worst part by far, however, was the minister spending more time attempting to “save souls” instead of eulogizing the deceased. It seemed rather rude to the family of the deceased but also very typical of the Southern Baptists.

    • When my friend’s father died, his brother was the Baptist minister who did the funeral service. I encountered the same thing…they wanted to use the moment to ensnare more souls in search of saving from the inevitable lake of fire. I find the whole thing to be quite disgusting.

  3. Atheist theology is my favorite :)

  4. Religion : The Big Complete Lie.

  5. “who, among the Jews, exclusively, shall enter the kingdom of heaven.”
    oFo you have a link to where the Bible says or implies that heaven is for Jewish people only?


    • Dave, Jesus says a few things that lead to the idea of heaven being just for the jewish:

      John 4:22 – You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the jews.

      Matthew 15:24 – I was sent only for the lost sheep of Israel.
      15:26 – It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs(he won’t sacrifice the saving of the jewish for the worthless non-jews)

      Matthew 10:5&6 – These twelve jesus sent out with the following instructions “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of israel”

  6. You’re right. Next!

  7. It upsets me to know that all of these people will repeat lies (consciously or not), but when their faith is attacked… They will attempt to defend its “comfort” and “consolation”.

    Many use this comfort argument as a reason we must have religion, we must have a belief in the afterlife, etc… but it’s simply an assumption.

    What it means is that we must have comfort and consolation, not religion. Religion is successful, because it is brings us the comfort we desire, just in a dishonest and elusively destructive way.

    The fact that the after-life consoles billions of people is not strong evidence that we need the after-life, on the contrary, it’s strong evidence that we need comfort and consolation, not lies.

    I think this is the message we should be spreading.

  8. I recently attended a funeral where the husband of the deceased stated clearly that she was “not religious”. A bit later the Christian pastor stood up there and assured us that she was “in Heaven” and that she’d eventually be re-united with all of her loved ones.
    Nice trick, huh?

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  11. Unless you don’t believe in the resurrection, you’re omitting another command Jesus gave his disciples (the same disciples you mentioned in an earlier verse -minus Judas Iscariot) where not only does Jesus inform them that is now ruler over heaven AND earth , he also gives the command to take His teachings to all the nations: Matthew 28:16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
    Before you think nations is referring to a geographical area, I would urge to consider that in Biblical times “nation” referred to a “people or group of people”. As for your argument about none of us getting to heaven until the Judgement Day, all I can tell you is that is a debate even among believers, and each person after their own careful study has a right to their own opinions on what scripture is trying to tell us.

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