Ten Commandments for Hating God Back

Here are Ten easy ways you can hate God back without hurting your fellow humans:

1. Buy a Buddha ornament as part of your feng-shui floor plan. (Exodus 20:3 ‘You shall have no other gods before me’)

2. Wear a suit made of wool and linen blend. (Leviticus 19:19 ‘Nor shall there come upon you a garment of cloth made of two kinds of stuff’)

3. Work overtime on the Sabbath (Exodus 20:8 ‘Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy’)

4. Receive a blow job from your wife during her menstrual period. (Leviticus 15:19 ‘When a woman is discharge of blood she shall remain unclean for seven days, and whoever touches her shall too be unclean.’)

5. Write down a list of everything you have ever wanted to own, and everyone you’d like to sleep with. (Exodus 20:17 ‘You shall not covet’)

6. Get a bob-cut styled haircut. (Leviticus 19:27 ‘Ye shall not round the corners of your heads.’)

7. Do as Johnny Cash did, “Always dress in black” (Ecclesiastes 9:8 ‘Let your garments always be white’)

8. Build a garden statuette in honor of A-Rod’s 2009 post-season heroics. (Exodus 20:4 ‘You shall not make for yourself  a graven image’)

9. Throw an unhittable curve ball to your dad in the backyward. (Exodus 21:15 ‘Whoever strikes his father or mother shall be put to death’)

10. High-five a homosexual friend. (Exodus 23:1 ‘You shall not join hands with a wicked man’)