My favorite comedian, period, is the incomparable Lewis Black. He is the Lord of the Manor when it comes to putting the funny into religion, politics, and life. From his book, Me of Little Faith, are Lewis Black’s 22 reasons for not believing in God:
1. AIDS
2. Cancer – both the disease and the sign
3. The laughter of a child – especially up close on a plane
4. Fat
5. Hemorrhoids
6. Having to masturbate
7. The knowledge that someday I won’t be able to (see point 9)
8. A colonoscopy
9. The Death of my brother
10. Nazis
CJ Werleman
Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
www.GodHatesYou.net
Categories: atheism · atheist
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christianity, religion
1. Atheists earn higher incomes. (10-15% higher according to 1989 study)
2. Atheists stay married longer. (21% of Atheists have been divorced vs 29% Christians) -Barna Research Group 1999
3. Atheists are less likely to end up in jail. (Atheists comprise of 15% of US population, however only 1% of US Prison population are atheist)
4. Atheists are more likely to climb to the top of academia. (97% of the National Academy of Science Members are atheists. The 3,200 members includes more than 200 Noble Laureate recipients)
5. Atheists are less likely to succumb to the lure of authoritarian regimes, that promise miraculous and divine sent decrees. You think Hitler could have convinced a nation of Secularists/Atheists that slaughtering Jews was a sound idea?
6. Atheists live longer and happier according to a 2009 poll conducted by Erasmus University Rotterdam
7. Atheists are not required to hate anyone. There is no doctrine that promotes in/out thinking.
8. Atheists have higher morality developmental growth. Famous American psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg writes that at moral development’s highest levels, moral judgments must be justified on rational moral grounds rather than by appeal to the order of nature or to religious authority or revelation. While Freud suggested that religion served to undermine moral responsibility while promoting fanaticism. He contended that people who behave morally only out of fear of a supernatural penalty would be unlikely to respect and care for others from an altruistic perspective.
9. Atheists achieve deeper levels of critical thinking, and free thought.
10. Atheists are way better in the bedroom. (My own anecdotal experience)
CJ Werleman
Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
www.GodHatesYou.net
Categories: atheist
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christianity. theology, philosophy, religion
This post made by Ozzie_Z to an online debate regarding God I have been involved with due to an interview I gave on RustyLime.com last week. This is a wonderful post and the most coherent retort I have heard to the first-cause argument:
Jake there is a whole legion of Christians out there who who say that a God preexisted nothing. Or, as some say, a God coexisted with nothing. That is, while there was nothing, there was also a God. (Unless, of course, you wish to claim that God IS nothing. I could accept that claim, but then I would not be here would I? Where is the simple proof. I am here.) So, you can not have a God (which is something) and say that before him, there was nothing. You must either start with a God, which is something (and came from something) or you must start with nothing. You can not have it both ways. If there is a God, he is something and something can not come out of nothing. Furthermore since there was something which must have predated a God, God could not have created everything. He could not have created himself if he was not himself to start with. God himself/herself/it would have to be developed from something that was NOT a God. God is claimed to have knowledge and character. Knowledge and character MUST be developed. It can not be decreed. It can not be magically waved into existence. Knowledge and character is a PRODUCT of life and living. It is a product of making wise and foolish choices. It is a product of growth. Did a God have the knowledge to create or make a universe? Where did he develop that knowledge? It is inconceivable that God simply sneezed and the universe came into being. I don’t think even the Christians would believe that.
To have the knowledge to create, or even to make a universe, God must have had some prior experience, some development, some trials and errors in how and why this worked and that did not. Also, the Christians attribute lots of wonderful attributes to their God. God is all good. God is all great. God is all just. God is all wise. God is all knowing. God is everywhere. God is all powerful, and so forth.
That is, the Christians give God a good, moral and powerful character. Now character can not be developed in a vacuum. Character must be developed by trial and error. Character must be developed by finding out what is good and what works. To do this one must also find out what is bad and does not work. Character must always answer the question, “Why?” in order to develop. Character is a growth process.
Therefore, there must have been other individuals and intelligences with whom God could interact in order to develop a good character. There must be at least a family of them. Therefore, God is not alone. So, other intelligence demands some type of setting in which they could interact. They must have a place, a home of sorts. So we now must allow God to have at least a family, a home and a setting, or a place of operating, in order to develop his character. So that is strike two against a creator God being by HIMSELF, and at the same time having both a good character and ultimate science knowledge. God could not decree himself a good character or vast scientific knowledge. He would not know what was good or what to decree. He must have developed that knowledge.
Now is there a section in the bible where God talked? Methinks he did:) How could a God language develop without other like beings with whom to communicate.
If there was something out of which God came, then there was already material available to make a universe. That is, God could not possibly have created the universe. However, God could have MADE the universe. That is, he could have taken the material which was available and MADE the universe out of that.
I will leave it at that for now. Hopefully I am not boring too many people here with this. Tyler there is no issue with the vocabulary. Can I suggest to you that the vocabulary is a signpost which is pointing you in a direction that you do not like.
cheers oz
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, jesus christ, religion
On Eve Selling the Apple (From Chapter 1: Genesis)
“We all know that the talking snake succeeded in ‘selling’ the apple appetizer to Eve, who in turned sold the idea to Adam. How she sold the idea we will never know but I assume she offered the apple in one hand whilst stroking her naked ass with the other, “You don’t take a piece of this, if you don’t take a piece of that!…..”
A Rape Victim Must Marry Her Attacker (Chapter 5: Deuteronomy)
“How fortunate for the poor young lass that is brutally raped by a male attacker that she gains a husband out of it – the guy who raped her. Furthermore what of the penalty for the rapist? Fifty shekels, that’s all? God commands in Leviticus that a man must be put to death for fucking a goat, but a payment of only a few dollars for raping a young girl?……”
David Conquers Jerusalem (Chapter 10: 2 Samuel )
“Whilst David was busy enjoying the sexual fruits of his toil, the Philistines were always busy in the background just itching for another fight with the Israelites. There should be a picture of a Philistine under persistence in the dictionary, because these guys just never quit. Meanwhile, whilst David was ‘balls deep’ amongst his harem he receives a memo that the Philistines had amassed their forces at the Valley of Rephaim……”
Solomon Accumulates Wealth and Fluffers (Chapter 11: 1 Kings)
“Solomon’s empire stretched from the Euphrates River to Egypt and with this great land annex came the usual symbols of success, ‘bling-bling’ and girls. His annual revenue in gold alone was more than twenty two metric tons.A phenomenal income, but more impressive was his accumulation of bed-mates. Solomon had over seven hundred wives and more than three hundred concubines. Numbers that would make even Julio Iglesias blush………“
Shit Sandwiches (Chapter 26: Ezekiel)
“An easy way to remember Ezekiel is as the dude that God forced to eat shit sandwiches for 430 consecutive days, this grotesque protest ordered by God to symbolize the prophesized fall of Jerusalem…….”
Jesus and His Mom (Chapter 41-44: Gospels)
“If I were a Christian it would trouble me that nothing in the Gospels illustrates Mary being impressed or proud of her prodigy son. This, afterall, is the son that God had put into her womb himself, without the need for her to engage in sweaty, non-airconditioned sex with a pre-deodorant era carpenter fiancé. If she believed Jesus to be the spawn of God, then why is it that everything Jesus does comes as a complete surprise to her?…….”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christianity, god, jesus, jesus christ, religion, theology
1. The long line of improbabilities for it to be the one true faith: a) Prove there is a god. b) Prove he is the God of the Hebrews, and not one of the Assyrian, Babylonian, Egyptian, etc etc etc gods. c) Prove that he approves of Christianity. d) Prove that Jesus existed. e) Prove he is the Son of the Hebrew God.
2. The Christian faith is based on absolutely no eye witness accounts. We have nothing written about him by anyone that met him. No artifacts, no self-written manuscripts, and not even a finger painting he drew at the Bethlehem Elementary School for the Gifted.
3. Jesus’ biography is built upon 100% hearsay. The defintion of hearsay is information obtained without an actual witness’ testimony or knowledge. In a court of Law hearsay is dismissed because it provides no proof or credible evidence. I can tell you I saw a UFO this morning, but without an eye witness to corroborate my story i can’t prove it, and similarly you can’t disprove it.
4. The four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John write as if they are talking about four completely different events when one reads their respective accounts of Jesus’ conception, birth, baptism, arrest, crucifixion, and resurrection.
5. The four gospels chosen were arbitrarily out of dozen or more to choose from, including the gospel of Thomas, Peter, Philip, and Judas. What should deeply trouble any Christian, is the fact that the gospels omitted from inclusion are even more embarrassingly implausible then the four that were canonized.
6. Paul claims Jesus was God in human form. And that God sacrificed himself to atone for the original sin. That sin being Adam’s. Well for that to be true then a Christian must believe in the Genesis story of the Bible. Which doesn’t leave much ‘wiggle’ room for the modern day theist moderates who like to dismiss the flood, the talking snake, and the made in 7 days claim. If no Adam then God killed himself to atone for the sin of a guy that never existed.
7. Unoriginal mythologies, that were shared among that part of the world at that time in history, i.e virgin birth, walk on water, feed the masses, executed, ressurection and ultimately savior for our sins. Look no further than the eery similarities between the story of Horus the Egyptian God, and Jesus, as but just one example.
8. Jesus warned his followers to be wary of false prophets, before proving that he was himself nothing more than a seller of false hope and dreams. More than 300 times throughout the New Testament Jesus or Paul promises the early Christians that Jesus would return to earth before that current generation (1AD-30AD) would know death. A central component of Jesus’ doctrine was “not worry for tomorrow” because he’d return to take them to heaven before their end of their life expectancy.
9. The fumble bumble mishmashing together of Jesus’ biography to fit with Old Testament prophecy. The individual extraordinary efforts the gospels go to to make the OT prophecy. Nothing demonstrates this better than watching the four crudely attempt to get Jesus’ birth place to be in Bethlehem so as to match the prophecy of Micah 5:2. For Christians reading it must seem like watching a train smash in slow motion but powerless to stop it. *wince*
10. If Jesus was born to a virgin, then his genealogy, or Joesph’s ancestry are irrelevant and therefore cannot be used to fulfill Old Testament prophecy, so as to prove that the Messiah descended from King David.
CJ Werleman
Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
www.GodHatesYou.net
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christianity, god, jesus, jesus christ, religion, theology
November 19, 2009 · 1 Comment
In the past week a couple of trending Twitter topics among atheists, #urafundie and #youmightberligious, were doing the rounds. I have reviewed all posts and here are my Top Ten Tweets. Starting with the sentence “You know you’re a fundamentalist if…..”
1. You think homosexuality is a reversible choice (via @_modus_operandi )
2.You think all the suffering,conflict& misery in the world is a just punishment for stealing one little apple (via @gods_beard )
3. You think god would speak via illiterate goatherders and not via Twitter. (via @almightygod )
4. You believe followers of every other religion will spend an eternity in Hell, but still consider your religion the most tolerant (via @lawrence_mills )
5. You are smart enough to figure out the Trinity but dumb enough to believe it (via @BibleAlsoSays )
6. You laugh at everyone else’s myths and gods as ridiculous, but you’ll kill if someone else points out yours isn’t real. (via @lawrencemills )
7.If you think that ‘everything needs a creator’ but that this rule doesn’t apply to your deity.(@lawrencemills)
8. If you think everything you’ve done or received was by God’s hands and not your own merits. (via @AatRB )
9. You think it’s a miracle when one person survives a plane crash, but 100’s didnt. (@fyreFlye )
10. You are terrified of God punishing you, but insist he still loves you. (via @LegendofEmily )
CJ Werleman
Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
www.GodHatesYou.net
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christian, christianity, jesus, religion
So many examples to choose from in selecting God’s most unjust assassination hits. But here are five lesser known whacks:
1. Judah fathered two son’s named Onan and Shelah. The younger son, Shelah, was shooting blanks and therefore unable to impregnate his wife. The father, Judah, intervenes and commands the more virile Onan to bonk his brother’s wife.Onan obeyed but at the moment of climax, knowing the child would not be his, he withdrew his pecker and ejaculated all over the bedsheets, and the floor like an out of control garden hose. (I did mention he was virile).
God had been leering through the bedroom curtains and upon seeing that Onan had wasted his money shot, murdered Onan where he lay. Smited for wasting his seed. That will make you think tonight won’t it fellas? (Genesis 38:10)
2. While the Israelites were wandering around the desert during their 40 year sand fest, a man was found gathering some fire wood on the Sabbath. The man was arrested and brought before Moses. Moses went upstairs to the boss, and the Lord said this in his typical booming voice: “The man must die. The whole assembly must stone him to death.” (Numbers 15:32-35)
3. Aaron’s sons, Nadab and Abihu, were playing outside their tent. Picking up a small stick of incense, they litbbc it. Unbeknownst to these lads was this particular incense was ‘unauthorized’ incense. What did God do? He struck them with a lightening bolt, and goodbye Nadab and Abihu. (Leviticus 10:1)
4. Elisha replaced Elijah as God’s new prophet in the Book of Kings, and as Elisha was walking along a small country town road he was approached by some young boys. The youths introduced themselves to the prophet and a couple of them made a quip about the fact that Elisha was the sufferer of advanced male pattern baldness. Elish uncomfortable with the harmless teasing cries out to God. What does God do? God sends for two grizzly bears who attack the small children, decapitating all 42 of them. (2 Kings 2:23-25)
5. Lot’s wife. We all know the story with this one. Presumably struck by a high saline content lightening bolt that instantly zapped her into a pile of salt. Her crime? Taking a peak over her left shoulder while God was busy murdering the citizens of Sodom.
CJ Werleman
Author ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
www.GodHatesYou.net
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: atheism, atheist, bible, christianity, religion
